Living Exposed!

Living exposed.  What does that really mean?  When I think of the word "exposed", it makes me feel so open, vulnerable, and naked in front of everyone.  What an uncomfortable feeling!  To lay it all out, to be "exposed" before the world.  Why does it seem more scary to be exposed before the world than to be exposed before God?  When I think of really being vulnerable to people, my heart immediately begins to feel like it's going to pound out of my chest.  Instantly my mind is bombarded with a million questions and insecurities.  What if they knew what I'd done?  What if they could see the real me?  Then, those questions are quickly followed by thoughts such as, "There is no way anyone would love me if they knew the real me." or "If I could just be more... then I could do more for God and people would accept me."  Even as I am writing this, I am painfully aware of how paralyzing these questions and thoughts can seem. 

If you allow yourself to become identified by these things then you begin to overcompensate in other areas of your life to mask the underlying insecurities.  Some may become perfectionists, terrified of failure because you secretly believe people only love you because of what you do for them.  You honestly believe that if you didn't have something to offer the other person in the relationship, then you would be of no worth to them.  While I can definately identify with this group, where there is one extreme, there is always another close by. 

With this extreme comes those people who never seem to have an original idea of their own.  In reality these people are so afraid of failure that they find it easier to not even try.  In their minds, it is easier to never try at all, than to try something and fail.  These people live miserable lives because they have big visions and dreams, yet in the end have little to show for it because they were too scared to try.

Out of these two groups we have two more extremes.  You have the co-dependent, who feels so insecure in their own skin that they try to live in someone else's.  They don't understand the concept of healthy boundaries and cling more to the thoughts and ideas of a person, than fine tuning their ear to the guidance and direction of the Holy Spirit.  These people tend to both manipulate and control, as well as, fall prey to other controllers and manipulators.  They are the human leach and tend to suck the life out of those they attach themselves to.

The extreme opposite of a co-dependent person is the "social stop sign".  These people may appear to always have people around them and everyone seems to just love them.  The problem is, when we take a closer look, they don't have any deep, intimate relationships.  I call them the "social stop signs" because they are friendly to everyone, but the minute anyone tries to scratch below the surface, these people get scared and run, or they will sabotage their own relationships.  These are incredibly lonely people and have the extreme life philosophy, "I don't need anyone.  I can take care of myself.  God and I, we got this all under control."

The problem with extremes is that God never designed us to live at extremes, but it is His devine will that we live our lives in balance.  Should we be ruled by the fear of failure or rejection, thus making us feel the need to either be a perfectionist or complacent?  Absolutely not!  The balance would be always striving to do our best because everything we do, we are doing as unto the Lord.  The key is where our focus lies.  In the same way, should we give our hearts freely to anyone that comes along?  No, nor do we reject everyone that comes along.  We must pray, use wisdom and discernment, and trust people that God specifically brings into our lives.  These people should be people that in all things lead us back to The Answer, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.