Monday, April 12, 2010

Lost

I feel so lost right now!  I don't know what to think or feel.  I don't know what direction my life is going.  I feel like the rug has just been pulled out from under me, and I'm just left here flat on my butt.  I think it's the most awful feeling in the world to really feel like God has told me to do something, only to later discover I must have missed it completely.  Then to realize my family has based their decisions on what I felt.  I don't know what to do right now.  I feel so trapped.  So angry.  So betrayed.  I'm devastated, truly devastated.  Never, never again will I make this mistake.

What now?!  What in the heck am I supposed to do now?!  I absolutely despise feeling like this!  I just want to scream at the top of my lungs, "I hate you!!!  I hate you all!!!", but I can't do that.  I'm just so angry right now.  Angry doesn't even begin to describe the emotions raging through me right now.  And what?!  Were you going to even let me know?  When?!  UGH!!!  I QUIT!!!

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